Friday, July 16, 2010

Davey and Goliath (1960)





I don't know, Daavveeyy...

You know, I don't think I had ever actually seen Davey and Goliath, about my only experience with it is Simpson's references. Other than that the only thing I knew about it was that it was made by the guy who did Gumby. Oh, and that it was full of Jesus.

And boy is it full of Jesus! Every episode wraps up with a nice little message of hope! So if you're unsure whether you should be nice to other kids, keep things you find, or be nice to minorities, Davey and Goliath will help you out.

On the Volume 1 DVD I bought at Target a while back you get four 15 minute episodes, plus one 30 minute episode. That's right, you get an hour and thirty minutes of Christianly goodness all for the amazing price of $1.

Stranded on the Island doesn't have a real religious message per se, more it tells you about how wonderful God is. Davey and his family all take a boat out to an island for a picnic, unfortunately they had no idea what God had in store for them! And by that I mean the tides. You see, because of the tides the Hansen family all get marooned on the island. It then turns into a harrowing true life Swiss Family Robinson where they have to learn to live off the land, learn how to make a fire, shelter, catch food... oh wait, they just leave the next time the moon God makes the tide come in.

My favorite part of this episode is the section where they talk about gravity and how you always fall down. Then there's this weird, trippy dream sequence where they fall up and talk about Newton's God's Law of gravity.... okay, the first strikeout was just me being a dick. The second one? Nope, that's straight from the show. God's Law of Gravity. You may also remember God's law about how for every action there's an opposite and equal reaction. I suppose I should be happy they at least acknowledge science.

I'm on drugs, Daavveeyy.


The Kite is hilarious. So there's this new kid at school, he's kind of nerdy, redhead with glasses. Davey makes friends with him and invites him to play baseball with him and his friends. Instead of choosing the really good player, Davey chooses the new kid to make him feel included. Uh oh, you know where this is going. The new kid is going to screw up and everyone is going to be mad but we'll learn some lesson from it all. Winning isn't everything and you should always be nice to everyone or something along those lines. The good player that Davey didn't pick is up to bat and hits it into the outfield where Teddy (that's the new kid) is the only person to catch it! Here it comes, he's going to miss it... but he doesn't. Teddy catches it. Hilariously I might add. You see, with stop motion it's pretty difficult to do a kid running to catch a ball... so instead Teddy flies about 30 feet across the field and catches it.

It's witchcraft, Daavveeyy.


Well now I'm confused. What lesson are we supposed to learn from this? Then I realized there's still about ten minutes left.

Davey and Jimmy then invite Teddy to come over to Davey's house and help them finish building the kite that they're making. And that's when Teddy kind of turns into a dick.

So they're back at Davey's house and they're almost finished with the kite when Goliath accidentally breaks it. Teddy and Jimmy are mad, but Davey forgives him because he loves him and that's what you do with people you love. Also they have enough material to make another one. So they make another kite and Goliath start sniffing around at the kite tail so Timmy does the reasonable thing and starts kicking Goliath. That'll learn em.

So they start flying the kite and Timmy is taking way to long a turn. When Davey asks for a turn Timmy goes back to his dickish ways and runs off into the forest with the kite. The string of the kite gets stuck in a tree and snaps off, sending the kite into some power lines. Timmy then yells that he's glad he broke their stupid kite. Way to make friends there new kid.

Luckily Jimmy and Davey have enough materials to make a third kite. So Jimmy and Davey are flying their kite when they notice that Timmy is standing at the edge of the forest watching them... like some sort of troll. Except he sulking. He's all sad because he was a dick... I guess. Then Davey brings up the very valid point that God would forgive Timmy. You know, if Timmy was a dick and broke God's kite. God would totally forgive him. Maybe New Testament God. Old Testament God would rain fire down on his Ginger ass. Either way they all learn a lesson and they all learn to share the kite, even Timmy.

Finders Keepers. It's Goliath's Birthday! And all Goliath wants is a big ol' steak. Sadly Davey only has $1 and that's not enough to buy you a big juicy steak... even in 1960. Davey needs at least TWO dollars to buy a steak. So Davey decided to do some odd jobs for neighbors to earn that extra dollar. One of his neighbors pays him $.25 to run some errands in town, another will pay him a whole dollar to mow her lawn and weed her front planter. $1 was worth a lot more money back in 1960.

So Davey starts doing his days worth of work to earn that $1.25, and while in town running errands notices the new dog salon. They have a very nice collar in their window, and Goliath would much rather have that then a steak. Only problem being is that the collar costs $11.

Davey's prayers are answered when his neighbor accidentally drops $10 out of her purse. Now, Davey doesn't know it's hers. He just finds it. Finders keepers.

Well of course the neighbor calls Davey's mom telling her that she lost the money. $10 dollars was worth a lot more back then... enough to call your neighbor and tell them you lost it... apparently. Well Davey's mom informs him that the neighbor lost the money, so now Davey knows where the ill gotten $10 came from. Still, finders keepers. That collar is going to be Goliaths!

Well on the way to buy the collar God makes Davey feel guilty so they end up buying the steak instead and giving the money back to the neighbor. Awwww, good Christianly values. Then Davey makes Goliath a new collar out of his sisters old necklaces and his moms old earrings... and everyone is happy. Especially God.

Blind Man's Bluff is easily my favorite episode. You see, this very special episode deals with race relations. No, seriously. It starts off with Goliath growling at another dog because that dog has spots. Davey likens this racism. Davey then gets a call from Jonathan, his black friend, who wants him to come over and visit with his cousin. You see Jonathan's cousin Scotty is a racist. He hates white people. Fortunately for everyone Scotty is temporarily blinded. A science explosion. Jonathan feels that if Scotty gets to know Davey without knowing he's white it will break him of his racist past.

Kill whitey, Daavveeyy.


So Davey become Scotty's nurse while his parents are away... because there's nothing safer than a young child caring for another blind, young child.

Well, the days pass and Scotty becomes more and more friendly with Davey and then the day comes when he's going to get his bandages off. It's the moment of truth. Scotty sees that he's been tricked into being friends with whitey and runs out of the doctor's office. Seriously.

The next day Scotty comes over to Davey's house and tells them that he has learned to love crackers and that it was wrong for him judge people based on the color of their skin. Even Goliath becomes friends with the spotted dog.

If only we could temporarily blind all racists the world would be a much better place.

To the Rescue. In this special half hour episode it's summer vacation time and that can mean only one thing... bible camp! Davey and his friends are off to bible camp and they're about to lean a very important lesson about working together.

You see, none of the kids can work together. The picnic tables aren't set, the cooks assistant oversleeps, the... well come to think about it as far as I can tell that's the only things that goes wrong. Plus that's not really kids not working together, that's just kids not helping. Either way all the kids go on a canoe trip to plant trees in a recently burned part of the forest... but there's a surprise waiting for them.

You see, while the kids are out in the forest there's a plane crash! And it's up to the kids to help out the father and daughter stuck and hurt in the plane... because if I'm ever in a plane crash I sure hope that the first responders are people from a bible camp.

We should probably wait for trained medical personnel, Daavveeyy.


It's okay though, because the father and daughter have relatively minor injuries... despite the daughter being ejected from the goddamn plane. Yep, the daughter receives a broken leg with the father receiving a broken arm. The marry band of youngsters are able patch them up and help them down the mountain. And they were able to do it because they worked together. Go them.

Davey and Goliath isn't a bad show. It's a little religious, sure, but it's produced by the United Lutheran Church... what did you expect? It's also oddly... nostalgic? I'm not sure if that's the right word. I think because there's been so many parodies of the show that even though I haven't seen it before, you feel as if you have. It's worth the $1 it cost and it's an interesting look into a type of TV show that really doesn't seem to exist any longer.

1 Birthday Fish out of 5