Finally made it back to the Drive-In Movie Classics 50 Pack. Was in the mood for something bad and exploitative so I settled for Slave of the Cannibal God.
Slave of the Cannibal God stars Ursula Andress and Stacy Keach. First off, I didn't realize that it was Stacy Keach until about halfway through the movie. I think the first thing I remember seeing Stacy Keach in was Titus and that was in 2002, about 24 years after he made this movie. He had aged quite a bit. I also spent a good portion of the movie trying to decide if Ursula Andress was hot or not. On one hand she's pretty good looking, but on the other she's got kind of a weird facial structure and odd hairline. By the end of the movie I had settled on the fact that she was "odd hot", meaning even though she had some odd things about her look wise, she was still hot.
Why have I brought this up? Well how good do you think a movie is when I spent a good portion of the time trying to decide if the leading actress was hot or not instead of, you know, paying attention. Give you a hint: not very.
If you were Italian and made a movie in the '70s with the word cannibal in the title there was a good chance it had two things in it: excessive amounts of boobies and real animal killings for shock value. Slave of the Cannibal God had both of these... kind of.
You see, the version of Slave of the Cannibal God that I had was the "heavily cut" version. The uncut version is 102 minutes long, where as the one I saw was 82 minutes. That means that they cut a fifth of the movie (here's hoping my horrible math skills are correct). Apparently this movie is chock full of nudity... unless you saw the version I did where you briefly see a little bit of boobies. When you cut out a fifth of a movie, I'm guessing here and there you end up cutting little bits of important information pertaining to the plot... and that's how Slave of the Cannibal God felt. Like you were watching a movie that was missing parts of its plot.
I'm not saying that the movie made no sense, I was able to piece together the information easily enough. Occasionally though, you would get to part of the movie that felt like it wasn't explained very well... it could just be incredibly bad writing, but it also may be that the explanation had been cut out, it's hard to say.
Overall Slave of the Cannibal God was just kind of a boring movie. It didn't offer me anything that I hadn't already seen before in these kind of exploitative cannibal movies... and once you get rid of all the nudity the only thing you're left with is the animal killings which really does nothing for me. And Birthday Fish doesn't like seeing his animal brethren die just for the purpose of a crappy movie with no boobies.
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