I've done some scientific research and I've come to a conclusion: the more names a movie has the worse it is. Case in point, Horror of Zombies. Also known as The Ghost Galleon, El Buque Maldito, Ship of Zombies, The Blind Dead 3, and Zombie Flesh Eater. For those of you keeping score that six names. Six. You know what that means? Pretty bad movie.
About twenty minutes into this movie I realized that I had seen it before, and let me tell you it takes a pretty awful movie for me to completely forget about it. So after realizing this I remembered what I was in for. A really bad movie.
I remember this movie feeling very disjointed, like I was missing something. I could never really figure it out, but this time I realized what it was. Remember all of those names up there? The one you should really know about is The Blind Dead 3. That's right, this movie is part of a trilogy. A trilogy that I haven't seen the first two movies of. Imagine sitting down and watching Back to the Future for the first time, no not the first one, Back to the Future III. Sure you could probably piece together why Marty and Doc Brown are playing cowboys and Indians but you can bet you're going to be a little confused.
Horror of the Zombies starts out making little sense and then evolves into a weird train wreck.
You have a bunch of fashion models who go out on a boat for a publicity stunt, I'm not 100% sure what kind of publicity stunt, but one nonetheless.
Well they're out on a boat in the middle of the ocean but in contact with some kind of weird/evil rich dudes who are in charge of the "publicity stunt". Well of course shit goes south. The models hit a patch of fog that shouldn't be there and get lost... oh noes!
Well for some reason, I'm not sure why, the rich guys kidnap another model who is going to go to the cops and tell them that they managed to lose a boat full of models. I guess maybe not all publicity is good publicity?
So the models eventually find a boat in the fog, and of course the first thing you do when you come across a creepy ass boat in the middle of the foggy ocean... you board it!
So now the (stupid) models are on board the SS Cursed by Ghosts and need rescuing.. and who better to do it then the two rich guys, their hired hand, their kidnapped model, and some woman who I honestly forgot who she was.
And then the Knights Templar show up... as zombies.
Okay, stop right their. Seriously, that's the what we're working with here. That's the plot of this movie. I have three words for you Zombie Knights Templar.
The story is muddled and crappy, the acting is awful, the script appears to be non-existent, the...
Oh to hell with it.
Squid.
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